My experience with a Bully!

We all experience challenges through life which teach us a valuable lesson, but at 32yrs of age and currently enrolled in a special EMT/Paramedic program, I did not expect to have a "Bully" who literally had me in tears for weeks!

Getting into this program was something I totally valued and was going to do my very best to excel. With education being so expensive and the economy being the way it is, I cannot imagine not being grateful and taking full advantage of this amazing opportunity. My enthusiasm definitely showed as I was consistently in school early, turned in all my assignments, participated in class and scored high on all my exams.

However, there was one guy in his mid 20's who received all the attention. He had a military background and had been in Afghanistan for a couple of years. He definitely had a-lot of potential and spoke intelligently when he wanted to. But, he was aggressive, loud & consistently disruptive in class which had me so perplexed when half of the class seemed fascinated with him. There were a few instances where the class was on a "study/reading" break and "the bully" took this chance to show highly inappropriate videos from his iPhone. I have never been a follower and was not about to start either..

My lack of participation in the Bully's discussions definitely prompted attention and one day as I was walking into the classroom he shouted "snobby bitch". I turned right around & walk up to him and said "Excuse Me" and he just started laughing. My heart was beating crazy fast and I felt myself shaking. I just wished that he was having a bad day and that he confused me with someone else. Unfortunately, things got much worse throughout the next few weeks. He changed his usual seat in the back of the classroom to sitting right next to me and made my days in school a nightmare!

This was going to be a true test of patience, resilience and faith for me. In my mind, this bully was intolerant of contrary opinion, domineering and a total coward, but kept questioning myself why I was one of the very few who can see this and why was he picking on me?

I did not let him intimidate me and the more he teased me, the harder I studied for my exams and did everything as perfectly as I could in hopes that I would make it to the next phase of the program and he didn't. I wanted to keep everything inside, but realized that one of the very important things in my life is the wonderful people I have surrounded myself with. I did open up about it and had awesome support & advice from my family, friends and a special teacher.

Getting through each day was an incredible task and I felt mentally & physically drained from all I was taking. Morning prayers, my daily exercise and appearing to be extra confident in class gave me hope that justice would be done.

The end of the first phase was quickly approaching, so the exams were getting tougher. The Bully would blatantly cheat with a few classmates and even showed pornography films from his iPhone while I had to listen to all of this. There were a few students who I knew did not agree with this crazy behavior and there was a rumor that a few had complained when the bully was pulled out to have a talk with the Director of the program.

The last week came and we had to absolutely pass the CPR practical & written exams with an 85% or higher. We would be judged on EVERYTHING which included: Assignments, Scores on all Exams, Attendance, Participation & Professionalism. It was emphasized to us that even if we were great students with high marks but lacked a professional attitude/work ethic, we would be dismissed from the program. I had so much faith that some of the teachers could see how horrible the bully was and allowing him to move on in this program would be a big mistake.

The last day had arrived...I had passed all my exams with flying colors, but so did the bully! The last day consisted of "Team Building" activities. We were broken up into 5 groups of six students. I had so much fun for the most part..One of the last games consisted of a relay race where 3 members had long splints bandaged to their feet (imagine 3 people being on long skis). My team had an awesome strategy and we marched in place to a good cadence and when they said "GO" we went! We won and it was awesome! 2nd round came and it was my turn to lead my team on the skis...The bully's team was right next to me. When they said "Go" the bully and his classmate came from behind & shoved me! I fell hard right on my tail bone and sprained my ankle. This was a relay race and there was so much excitement that I did not think any of the instructors including the Director saw what had just happened. I shook it off and got right back up, got my team together & kept marching. We still won :)

My head kept going around in a million circles and questioned whether I should tell any of the instructors/director. My classmates saw what happened and I was hurting physically and emotionally. It took everything for me to stay quiet as I had the most incredible faith that somehow someone saw what happened & this bully would just not move on to the next phase. We would get a phone call that evening notifying us whether we should show up to class the next day for the beginning of the next phase.

I got a wonderful voicemail last Thursday evening congratulating me for making into the next phase. I was so happy and just remembered all my accomplishments in life. If for some reason the bully made it into the next phase, I would approach the situation as I have with all the other challenges in my life: Determination, Patience, Resilience & never ending FAITH!

Friday morning, I walked into class and felt a weight lifted off my shoulders when I realized that the bully and his friend who had shoved me were not there...They had been dismissed! From over 300 applicants, 44 students were chosen for the first vestibule phase and now we are down to 27 students!

It is very unfortunate that bullying occurs at any point in our lives whether it is in school or at work. However, I believe the experience can teach us very valuable lessons about ourselves. There were so many times that I wanted to NOT come back from lunch, where I was hanging by a thread and still hung on and just did not give up hope ever!

I am so very thankful to all the great support and advice I received. Every person has a way of handling these types of situation. Patience, Resilience, Confidence & Faith are always my way and definitely not being afraid to open up and seek help!

I truly believe that these "Bullies" can be used as a metaphor in our everyday lives to never give up hope/faith and always try to keep pressing forward no matter what!

Much Love,

Patricia
Patty Boom Boom
www.patriciaalcivar.com
"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams"