ALL relationships worth fighting for require Communication, Honesty & an open mind and heart...Someone has to be willing to give in and have an open mind/heart as you cannot fight fire with fire. In not doing so, you run the risk of losing precious time/milestones in each others lives that you cannot bring back. Giving in requires both humility and an open heart even if the other person does not give in. Doing your part ensures a healthy heart free of toxic resentment.
The problem with many people in my family has always been the inability for someone to give in. About 4 years ago, my younger sister and I had a disagreement where neither one of us gave in. We would be estranged for 3 years while I was living in North Carolina. There was not a day that passed by where I wondered how she and my niece were doing. I prayed that somehow we would come back into each other's paths. That opportunity came when I moved back to NYC last year. I asked my mom to invite my sister and niece to my house for the Christmas Holiday. That would require both of us to have an open heart and mind...
I will never forget the feeling of peace, relief and joy when I came home the evening of December 24, 2010 to find my sister, niece and mom standing in my kitchen. We hugged and spoke like two old friends that had not seen each other in years. Even though there were no apologies exchanged, I think we both understood that we had punished ourselves enough by letting so much time pass without speaking. I was excited and grateful to have this new opportunity to have my sister back and I was already planning all the things I wanted to do and share with her.
I noticed my sister had gained considerable weight (about 30lbs). My way of showing love to my loved ones is sharing my passion for health, for life & faith. Little by little, we became closer as we once were and I found out about her goals to regain her health & fitness and the desire to conquer a Triathlon and a marathon "down the road." She saw her goals as a distant dream, but I didn't. I was more excited about her goals than she was and remember researching the perfect events & designing a program that would enable her to achieve all her goals THIS YEAR!
In late February, I had the perfect plan that included conquering not one but 2 Triathlons; one in June & one in July, a Biathlon, a couple of Half Marathons & the grand finale with a full Marathon in the Fall all while she revamped her nutrition and lost the 30lbs. I remember telling her my plan and the look on her face thinking I was completely out of my mind. "If you can't, you must!" I assured her with every ounce of confidence that my crazy plan was doable. All I needed was her commitment to the training regimen. I got that from her and much more!
I love inspiring people, but there are times where I need to be inspired and it really doesn't take that much. Whether it is the desire to never give up, a small detail/words of gratitude, commitment, loyalty, honesty and open communication are definitely big things that inspire me. They are powerful details that just make me want to give even more of myself. My sister did all of the above! We attacked our fear of the water on a weekly basis, we ran the roads & trails, we biked some long distances and had amazing adventures and challenges all while we bonded more than we ever thought possible.
8 months later, my sister has lost over 40 lbs, conquered 2 Triathlons, placed in her age group in her first ever Biathlon, Completed 3 half Marathons and has put amazing training & dedication all while being a great mom to her 14-yr old daughter, a hard worker and a great sister & daughter. The grand finale is here and we are set to run the Chicago Marathon this Sunday, October 9, 2011.
Chicago will be my 16th Marathon & I plan to use it as a qualifier for the Boston Marathon. But besides the inner staisfaction of completing this marathon, it truly will be a special marathon as I see my sister cross the finish line. A Marathon that helped heal and bond us back together.
In closing, I have to say that I have learned that in life, relationships, sports, education and work, you must truly give it your all to ensure you have no regrets. If for whatever reason things don't work out, at least you have a peace of mind knowing you did everything you could and that I can certainly live with..
Much Love,
Patricia "Patty Boom Boom" Alcivar
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life
