Los Caminos De La Vida – The Paths of Life

The title of my blog is "Los Caminos De La Vida," which means The Paths of Life. This is the title of a Colombian vallenato that I grew up listening to on the very popular Hispanic radio station, "Radio Wado 1280." I still listen to this radio station in the early mornings & the song was featured very appropriately yesterday,the day before my Graduation as an EMT. Whoa! I have had a lump in my throat all day yesterday and today...It is a familiar bitter sweet feeling I get after a difficult journey.

In 1997, someone who believed in me more than me, encouraged me to enter the 1st ever Women's Amateur National Boxing Championships. I had just lost a very close decision in the NY Daily News Golden Gloves in Madison Square Garden and honestly wasn't sure I was mentally ready. I remember my trainer's words 3 months prior to the big tournament like it was yesterday, "We are going to bust our butts and work harder than any girl out there! Mark my words, YOU WILL BE A NATIONAL CHAMPION!"

We overcame some rough adversities throughout our training that summer including recovering from a broken right wrist, but we were laser beamed focused and had one goal in mind..The week of the tournament was here! I fought for 3 days winning my bout on each day & making it to the Championship finals! My opponent would be a tough fellow NYer who had impressively stopped her opponents throughout the tournament. I was considered a huge underdog to everyone except my trainer. He just knew and believed in me & my abilities.

Right before the bell rung to start the bout, I took a deep breath, looked at my trainer and then at the sky. It was just going to take that leap of faith to dig deep & give it everything I had. I definitely gave it my all & ended up winning in a very impressive fashion. Right before getting the Championship Belt placed in an emotional ceremony, my trainer said to me "I am very proud of you." It was the very first time someone had ever said that to me and something I would never forget. During the ceremony, it was a bittersweet feeling knowing that all my hard work paid off & hearing something for the first time. What other feeling can ever come close to that?

Throughout the years after that, I have been very fortunate to use the accomplishments from different events to help me continue to believe in myself & apply them in other areas of my life. Each extraordinary moment taught me something new about myself & fulfilled me in a different way. Tomorrow, I will graduate as an EMT and receive awards for Academic Achievement & Perfect Attendance. This EMS course challenged me & pushed me to great heights and once again, helped me see what is possible when you don't give up no matter what the circumstances.

It's a bittersweet feeling that I will feel when I get my certificate/s. It may be that I will miss being challenged with tough exams on a weekly basis & being pushed out of my comfort zone with balancing school, work & training. It may be that for the first time, my mom & younger sister will be present in a very significant moment in my life or it just may be that here is an opportunity for me to be proud of myself and not wanting that feeling to ever go away...

"Los Caminos de La Vida," represents to me a lifetime of choosing different paths. I feel like I may have been dealt with some extreme and unusual circumstances throughout my life, but have been blessed to make the best out of each situation & still make own path.

Tomorrow, I will make a toast & enjoy this bittersweet feeling and look back at my journey through this Emergency Medical Services course and review my plan of working part-time as an EMT, help as many people as I can until I start Nursing School in the Fall while I continue my boxing dreams & pursuit of Excellence!

As always, thanking my supporters, friends & loved ones for accopanying me on this journey!



"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams!"

Patricia Alcivar
"Patty Boom Boom"
www.patriciaalcivar.com


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L9itEadUCE

Making My 2011 Resolutions A Reality!

Every year for about the last 13 years or so, I do the old fashion thing of writing down a good list of about 5-10 things I want to accomplish for the New Year. It MUST be written though! Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; cant's into cans; dreams into plans; and plans into reality. Don't just think it - ink it!

When I was about 17 years old, I was barely surviving on my own working in a Battered Women's Shelter named "Sanctuary for Families". At the time, "The New School" offered the staff & clients free classes from their catalog. I had just won the World Full Contact Kyokushin Karate Championships in the women's light weight division & needed a new challenge. I have been fortunate enough from a very young age to be able to seek things that will help me grow spiritually & mentally. My goal for that year was to find something that would challenge me in a different way and I was going to stop at nothing until I found it! All of a sudden this one class just jumped out of the book at me..."Learn the Art of Boxing".

I was so psyched and could not wait to take on my next challenge! However, I was disappointed when I got there and saw that the class was more like a box-aerobics class. I marched right up to the instructor after class and told him that I thought this was going to be a real boxing class. I told him that I was a champion martial artist & wanted to improve my punches. This Brooklyn guy named Martin Snow had the nerve to tell me that Karate sucked & to throw any punches or kicks I wanted and he would block it. I was determined to make an impression on this 6'5", 240lb Brooklynite, so I was throwing kicks & punches and he was indeed blocking everything hard! Until...I found a wonderful opening right in his mid section & I threw a straight right hand with all my might! YES! I knocked the wind out of him and his next words to me were "Women's Boxing just became legal in NYC..Do you wanna fight?" I had found my next challenge!! It continues to be one of the sports that takes me out of my comfort zone & brings the best out of me!

In order to accomplish your goals, you MUST crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms carry out your plan!

In my second professional fight this summer, I broke my right foot 3 weeks before my fight! A broken metatarsal requires at least 4-6 weeks in an air cast. I looked at the podiatrist straight in the eyes and told him that I was fighting no matter what! I was also crying like a baby & had the utmost faith that although it might not be easy, everything was going to workout. This doctor customized all of my foot wear with extra padding/cushion, put a cortisone shot right in my bone & taught me how to bandage my foot for extra support. I was not to run for the next 3 weeks & do non impact exercises. I replaced my daily runs with high intensity speed drills on the elliptical machine, stair master & swimming. The night of my fight came & I was insanely nervous as I was fighting with a broken foot & with someone who was much more experienced than I was. All through this though, I had amazing FAITH and my goal in mind the entire time! I won that fight with a TKO at the end of the 4th round!

To achieve success, you need both persistence and flexibility. When you face difficulties and unexpected problems, use all your persistence and determination to stick to your goals. If the way you do things now does not work, try another way. Keep trying until you find the one that works. Don't change the ends, change the means. It is my true belief though that gratitude and faith MUST be part of the whole goal setting process. I would not have gotten this far without my belief in a higher power. It is a very important part of my everyday life.

So, what's in store for Patty Boom Boom in 2011? LOTS!! Before I start mentioning just a few, I want to say that I am incredibly thankful to my higher power which is God. I feel truly humbled and blessed to be able to accomplish so many things this year even through some extreme challenges. Everything I do, I do with so much love, passion, faith & determination. Some of my goals for 2011 include:

1. Boxing/Fighting in my hometown & Internationally
2. Completing my first Ironman at Lake Placid in July
3. Start Nursing School in March
4. Focus on writing & completing my memoir
5. Continue Living my life with incredible Faith & Passion!

Thank you all for your amazing & continued support! Looking forward to sharing this incredible journey of adventures, faith & growth in 2011 & beyond! My wish for all my Friends & Loved ones is:

May you always have enough happiness to keep you sweet;
enough trials to keep you strong;
enough success to keep you eager;
enough faith to give you courage;
and enough determination to
make each day a good day!

Wishing you all amazing blessings & health for the coming year!

Much Love,

Patricia Alcivar aka "Patty Boom Boom"
www.patriciaalcivar.com

Facing My Fears at "Tough Mudder"

FEAR can either paralyze you or fuel you! I am so thankful that I understand that I always have a choice about how to respond to and deal with fear. I can cave into it, struggle with it, accept it, or work around it. I always have a choice, a choice I can make again and again or that I can change based on my assessment of what is best for me.

On Saturday, November 20th, I took the opportunity to "Face My Fear" of the water, cold & heights at the 12-mile Tough Mudder that had 19 obstacles. Half of those obstacles were in the water. For as long as I can remember, I have had an awful fear of the water, the cold, the dark & heights among other things, but those are the most significant ones. I do my very best not to let the fear of anything paralyze me and instead, take every opportunity I can to face my fear right in the face. As my Cognitive-Behavioral Therapist, Rick Baker would say,"If you do what you are afraid of, you WILL get better!"

Drowning in a pool and at the beach when I was a child started my fear of the water. My Father at the time would throw me further into the ocean to see if I could survive making my fear even worse. However, one of my life goals is to complete an Ironman & about 5 years ago, learned how to swim as an adult & competed in my first sprint Triathlon. Putting my face in that dark, cold lake was CRAZY!! I hyperventilated, cried and held on to the raft and was about to get disqualified. To me, that meant failure and something GREAT was about to happen. I got on my back & even invented some new swimming strokes & finished the swim in 29:30 which was 30 seconds before the cut-off time!

Ever since then, I just keep attacking my fears! When the Winter Tough Mudder was announced, I definitely hesitated, but knew I just had to do it. It was an opportunity for me to deal with 3 of my fears. I am a big believer of training hard and being prepared, but there is really no way to prepare to jumping in ICE cold water. The morning of the Tough Mudder was here and morning temps were in the low 30's. Skipping the event never entered my mind, but the anxiety and fear were greater than ever.

When things get this way where I can't think clearly or calmly, there is one thing that brings me comfort & peace and that is prayer and faith! That combined with determination is a great recipe to ensure that I would atleast get through the race. Another key element is the support of my loved ones..Having my sister, nephews, niece & dogs there with me was wonderful! Inadvertently, I would be influencing them to never give up on their dreams or let fear get in the way ever!

The start horn sounded and off I went on my journey.. We started out just running on the raceway and grass and then we hit our first water challenge which was "The Plank"! Oh My Dear God! This was 3 of my fears staring me right in the face!! The plank was about 15ft high & the challenge was to jump off into ICE COLD DARK 15ft deep WATER! Just as I was walking up to jump, a spectator jumped out to pull out a participant that had "blacked out" from the impact and the cold!! I started hyperventilating and crying...All that anxiety came back and got worse when I heard the guy that was pulled out say "That water felt like ice glaciers stabbing me all over and I just passed out"!

I had to step away and take a few minutes to calm down & reassess why I was doing this..I realized what I always knew and that is I am doing this to overcome my fears, to achieve my goals, my dreams and smile back at another chance God has given me to inspire myself and others! I went back up, took a deep breath and jumped off! WOW! I also did black out for a second and starting to swim as if there was a shark in the water! My body was completely numb, wet & cold & would remain that way for 2 hrs! The 18 challenges after that were pretty awful as well. They included:

1.Underwater Tunnels: As if walking the plank and jumping into ice cold water wasn't bad enough, this next water challenge, we had to bob up and down under these tunnels. Holding my breath and trying to go under these tunnels tightened up my chest & I thought my heart was about to stop!! We were only at mile 3! It's gonna be a long day was my thought!!
2.Spider's Web:This challenge completely murdered my arms..There were TWO cargo nets to climb!
3.Mud Mile/s: There were miles and miles of just running in the WET and COLD Mud. They had sprinkles on at all times soaking up the mud. There were mud hills where you could not run up and instead go up on all fours and slide down on your butt!
4.Kiss of Mud: This "low crawl" in the wet, cold & super rocky mud for about 1/4 mile was extremely painful!
5.Berlin Walls: There were about ten 12ft high walls to get over!!
6.Firewalker: I wouldn't say that "Fire" was one of my fears until the "Tough Mudder Fire"! Holy SMOKES! The smoke/fumes from this challenge nearly closed my throat & I felt as if I was in the water again. Almost started to panic!
7.Funkey Monkey: After running 11 miles cold & wet, it was nearly impossible to have enough energy to get through the "Tough Mudder Money Bars" upside down accross a cold lake!!
8.Twinkle Toes: Right after Funkey Monkey trying to have any coordination & balance to walk across a crazy narrow piece of wood on a lake was insanely rough!!
9."Mystery Event": This I did not see coming a mile away! I was about half a mile from the finish line, so how bad could it be? It was a mud pit with PAINFUL electrical shocks underneath!! How CRUEL! I screamed so loud and felt my feet starting to cramp...

As I was hobbling out of the last challenge, I saw a group of 3 girls approaching..My competitive instinct kicked in, forgot about the cramps and how awful my body felt and I started to sprint to the finish...I had NO idea that I was the 3rd female coming in until I reached the finish line and was told "Congratulations! You are the 3rd female"! The emotions of just completed this event took over and I was incredibly grateful!

Thank you to my loved ones and special friends for their never ending support and following me on my crazy journey that also never ends! We all have incredible gifts and have the choice to do something with it! I leave you with an incredible and beautiful quote on Fear as well as some cool footage of my latest Adventure below:

Our Deepest Fear Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear,our presence automatically liberates others.


Much Love,

Patty Boom Boom
"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams"
www.patriciaalcivar.com

The Thrill of the "Marathon"

When I was about 14 yrs old, I remember flipping the channels & totally stopping when I saw a small thin woman running her heart out. I was amazed at all the wonderful support she was getting from the crowd. All of a sudden, she was coming towards the finish line & she threw her arms up in the air & broke the tape! The cheers grew louder and I remember getting goosebumps and tears and saying, "I want to do that one day!" My mom looked at me like I had two heads & for the most part no one paid any attention to me. Besides, I was just 14yrs old & just watched Olga Markova win the Los Angeles Marathon (26.2 miles!) in 2:30.

I could not get that image out of my head & woke up the next morning to run on Queens Blvd at 5am so I could get to school on time. I was so excited! I went out that chilly morning and started to run & within a couple of blocks, got a severe stitch on my side, so I ended up walking back. Once I got back home, my whole face was burning up in sweat and that to me felt AWESOME! But,I knew right then that this was going to be crazy HARD! I was not going to give up and gave myself weekly goals to run 2 blocks farther than the week before. By the end of that year, I was practically running the whole Queens Boulevard from 48th Street to the Courthouse on 118th Street (about 7 miles!).

At 15yrs of age, I was living on my own, but never gave up on that goal! I joined the New York Road Runner's Club and started attending running classes & racing. Once I turned 16, I wrote a letter to the president of the organization at the time, Mr. Allan Steinfeld explaining my living/financial situation. He waived the entry fee & I was now all set to run my first ever NYC Marathon! I wanted to feel like that woman crossing the finish line even if at the moment had little to no support. I was doing this for me...

The day of the 26.2 mile foot race was here! I had my "red best friend" & it was ridiculously cold, but it was the day I had dreamed about for 2 years. Hearing that gun go off in Staten Island on the Verranzanno Bridge was electrifying! I felt wonderful up until mile 16 when we crossed the 59th Street Bridge..Coming off of the bridge into the amazing crowd on 1st Avenue kept me going until mile 20. I couldn't believe I had 6.2 miles left to go. My whole body ached and every step I took was painful, but I willed myself to that glorious finish line! Entering Central Park & hearing the cheers of the spectators & crossing that finish line was something I will never ever forget. If I could do this, I could do ANYTHING and during any time of challenges throughout my life, I just remember how I never gave up here or anywhere...

I went on to run 10 NYC Marathons, 2 Boston, 1 Chicago & 1 Steamtown Marathon..On Sunday, October 31, 2010, I will be running my 15th marathon at the Marine Corps Marathon. I am always so very grateful & thankful to my higher power for giving me the strength & that "never give up" attitude from a very young age.

It has always been my goal to help & inspire others as well, so after 15 weeks of training, my big sister Jackie & my wonderful manager & special friend, Johnny are all set to run Marine Corps as well. This marathon will totally ROCK!

Every marathon is special to me as I set new goals & I am reminded of how far I have come from the very first marathon 15 years ago!

"Each Marathon, Each fight is a direct reflection of how I deal with my everyday challenges!"



Much Love,

Patty Boom Boom
www.patriciaalcivar.com
"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams!"

My experience with a Bully!

We all experience challenges through life which teach us a valuable lesson, but at 32yrs of age and currently enrolled in a special EMT/Paramedic program, I did not expect to have a "Bully" who literally had me in tears for weeks!

Getting into this program was something I totally valued and was going to do my very best to excel. With education being so expensive and the economy being the way it is, I cannot imagine not being grateful and taking full advantage of this amazing opportunity. My enthusiasm definitely showed as I was consistently in school early, turned in all my assignments, participated in class and scored high on all my exams.

However, there was one guy in his mid 20's who received all the attention. He had a military background and had been in Afghanistan for a couple of years. He definitely had a-lot of potential and spoke intelligently when he wanted to. But, he was aggressive, loud & consistently disruptive in class which had me so perplexed when half of the class seemed fascinated with him. There were a few instances where the class was on a "study/reading" break and "the bully" took this chance to show highly inappropriate videos from his iPhone. I have never been a follower and was not about to start either..

My lack of participation in the Bully's discussions definitely prompted attention and one day as I was walking into the classroom he shouted "snobby bitch". I turned right around & walk up to him and said "Excuse Me" and he just started laughing. My heart was beating crazy fast and I felt myself shaking. I just wished that he was having a bad day and that he confused me with someone else. Unfortunately, things got much worse throughout the next few weeks. He changed his usual seat in the back of the classroom to sitting right next to me and made my days in school a nightmare!

This was going to be a true test of patience, resilience and faith for me. In my mind, this bully was intolerant of contrary opinion, domineering and a total coward, but kept questioning myself why I was one of the very few who can see this and why was he picking on me?

I did not let him intimidate me and the more he teased me, the harder I studied for my exams and did everything as perfectly as I could in hopes that I would make it to the next phase of the program and he didn't. I wanted to keep everything inside, but realized that one of the very important things in my life is the wonderful people I have surrounded myself with. I did open up about it and had awesome support & advice from my family, friends and a special teacher.

Getting through each day was an incredible task and I felt mentally & physically drained from all I was taking. Morning prayers, my daily exercise and appearing to be extra confident in class gave me hope that justice would be done.

The end of the first phase was quickly approaching, so the exams were getting tougher. The Bully would blatantly cheat with a few classmates and even showed pornography films from his iPhone while I had to listen to all of this. There were a few students who I knew did not agree with this crazy behavior and there was a rumor that a few had complained when the bully was pulled out to have a talk with the Director of the program.

The last week came and we had to absolutely pass the CPR practical & written exams with an 85% or higher. We would be judged on EVERYTHING which included: Assignments, Scores on all Exams, Attendance, Participation & Professionalism. It was emphasized to us that even if we were great students with high marks but lacked a professional attitude/work ethic, we would be dismissed from the program. I had so much faith that some of the teachers could see how horrible the bully was and allowing him to move on in this program would be a big mistake.

The last day had arrived...I had passed all my exams with flying colors, but so did the bully! The last day consisted of "Team Building" activities. We were broken up into 5 groups of six students. I had so much fun for the most part..One of the last games consisted of a relay race where 3 members had long splints bandaged to their feet (imagine 3 people being on long skis). My team had an awesome strategy and we marched in place to a good cadence and when they said "GO" we went! We won and it was awesome! 2nd round came and it was my turn to lead my team on the skis...The bully's team was right next to me. When they said "Go" the bully and his classmate came from behind & shoved me! I fell hard right on my tail bone and sprained my ankle. This was a relay race and there was so much excitement that I did not think any of the instructors including the Director saw what had just happened. I shook it off and got right back up, got my team together & kept marching. We still won :)

My head kept going around in a million circles and questioned whether I should tell any of the instructors/director. My classmates saw what happened and I was hurting physically and emotionally. It took everything for me to stay quiet as I had the most incredible faith that somehow someone saw what happened & this bully would just not move on to the next phase. We would get a phone call that evening notifying us whether we should show up to class the next day for the beginning of the next phase.

I got a wonderful voicemail last Thursday evening congratulating me for making into the next phase. I was so happy and just remembered all my accomplishments in life. If for some reason the bully made it into the next phase, I would approach the situation as I have with all the other challenges in my life: Determination, Patience, Resilience & never ending FAITH!

Friday morning, I walked into class and felt a weight lifted off my shoulders when I realized that the bully and his friend who had shoved me were not there...They had been dismissed! From over 300 applicants, 44 students were chosen for the first vestibule phase and now we are down to 27 students!

It is very unfortunate that bullying occurs at any point in our lives whether it is in school or at work. However, I believe the experience can teach us very valuable lessons about ourselves. There were so many times that I wanted to NOT come back from lunch, where I was hanging by a thread and still hung on and just did not give up hope ever!

I am so very thankful to all the great support and advice I received. Every person has a way of handling these types of situation. Patience, Resilience, Confidence & Faith are always my way and definitely not being afraid to open up and seek help!

I truly believe that these "Bullies" can be used as a metaphor in our everyday lives to never give up hope/faith and always try to keep pressing forward no matter what!

Much Love,

Patricia
Patty Boom Boom
www.patriciaalcivar.com
"Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams"

It's Never Too Late!

I have been involved in some sort of sports for as long as I can remember. It has always been part of my lifestyle and a wonderful outlet for me, but I always felt something was missing especially after leaving home at the age of 15.

Once I started competing in Martial Arts, Running & then Boxing, I was never fueled by anger. My motivation has always been and always will be to be the best that I can be and prove to myself that I am worthy and can accomplish my goals. However, growing up I did hold on to anger especially towards my mom and was not spiritual. Although it never showed externally, I felt bitter about my childhood and had so many questions and feelings of insecurity.

Throughout the years, I struggled as I felt that being bitter was something toxic that would eventually eat me up slowly inside and I did not want to live like that. True forgiveness is something that is done with your body, mind and spirit, and it's not easy. One of the things I constantly talk about is faith and it is definitely one of the things that has helped me in my journey along with years of counseling and self awareness.

It is so hard to forgive because you might think you're "letting the other person off the hook" by forgiving them. Forgiving is for you, not the other person. Forgiveness allows you to return to love, to the good person you truly are and simply a matter of letting go of anger and resentment, and taking responsibility for your own emotional and physical situation. When you refuse to forgive, you might feel like you're punishing the other person, when in fact you're only punishing yourself.

So, this is part of what I was missing & slowly, but surely have found that peace within myself. I am now closer to my mom than I ever was and amazingly it has made me a better and stronger person and athlete! Earlier this year, I watched my 65-year old mom participate in her first 5k which was incredible! I speak with my mom on a daily basis & feel blessed to have the support I never had before. It really is NEVER too Late! I now fight, run and compete with even more purpose than before and for that, I am so very thankful.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Gandhi

Much Love,

Patty Boom Boom
www.patriciaalcivar.com

Why I Do What I Do...

I have definitely been asked this questions so many times in so many different ways..I will try to explain, but give you some background first.

I am one of 4 sisters who grew up in a 2-bedroom apartment in Woodside, Queens with crazy strict parents. My father was an alcoholic and incredibly abusive to me in every way possible. It was a complete nightmare when he was drunk and would threaten to set the house on fire. I remember trying to go to a different place in my mind that would make me happy. Those images usually consisted of replaying my ballet routines at the time or the compliment the teacher gave me in school for a good report or grades.

At a very young age, I quickly learned how to use positive images to make me happy. I absolutely loved the feeling of performing in front of a crowd during my ballet shows. I loved the outlet it provided as well as the positive attention I received. Additionally, I would see people smile and I realized that through my ballet (athletics), I was also able to make people happy and that made me happy...

Furthermore, living in very poor conditions taught me to be grateful & appreciate everything I have today including a roof over my head, food to eat and clothing. Throughout the years, I continue to apply what I learned at such a young age to my everyday life. I love the outlet, health benefits, and mental/spiritual growth that exercising and competition provides. I also learned to apply the principles I use in competition. For Example, I ran my first NYC Marathon when I was 16 years old. No one believed I could or should.... When I crossed that amazing finish line, I knew that if I could do this, I could do anything with FAITH and never ever giving up no matter how high the odds were...

Today, I continue this same path and that is doing the things that make me the happiest, pursuing excellence & my dreams, being grateful, and making other people smile! All of my life is a journey; which paths I take, what I look back on, and what I look forward to is up to me. I determine my destination, what kind of road I will take to get there, and how happy I am when I get there!

This is "Why I Do, What I Do"

"If the essence of my being has caused a smile to have appeared upon your face or a touch of joy wtihin your heart, then in living I have made my mark."

Much Love,

Patty Boom Boom